Apr
24
little fiends
Posted by Jon Trainer at 8:43 pmFiled Under poetry, theology
Last Sunday I preached on Ecclesiastes 10. I asked the children in the congregation to keep their ears tuned for at least three little animals (there is a fourth larger animal) in the chapter. The power of these little beasts to wreak havoc is breathtaking, along with the sheer arbitrariness of the whole mess. And yet there is no chaos here. God is in control and wise men may navigate safely the hazardous dangers in life under the sun. (Hint: musca domestica is a house fly, ophidia is a snake, and petronia is a rock sparrow common in Palestine).
Musca domestica alights in sweet
Perfume to die in fragrant ecstasy,
And spoils the whole bottle, a ruin complete;
A fait accompli by minute debris.
Ophidia lies still in black cool shade,
And waits with stealth a slow servant to strike;
Who breaks through wall with fleshly hand on spade
Without suspect he stirs a beast warlike.
Petronia is perched above the bed,
And cocks quick ear to catch the throne be cursed;
Takes wing and bears damned oath to gold crowned head,
Seeks justice on sly traitors at their worst.
Beware the beasts that folly cannot see,
Though truth be told the fiends are God’s decree.
good stuff, and I think this may be my favorite of your poetic works posted on this blog. Perhaps not the most polished, but there’s more *happenning* here, with all the critters and languages and action and warning and scattering and gathering….
“Without suspect he stirs a beast warlike” looks like the Homer-nods portion of this one. May I suggest “Not seeing what he stirs, a beast warlike” or some such modification, to make the grammar clearer without sacrificing the cadence?
I notice that you loosened up the meter quite a bit in favor of sounds and word-pictures. In this one, it seemed so intentional (the scattering and gathering was thematic) that it really worked, I think. I’d suggest that grammar be the last to go (though syntax does loosen from prose to poetry, of course).
And I like that “folly cannot see,” but “truth [is] told” and also “truth [to tell],” the world’s chaos is not our problem, truly. Though there is world in us, and we in it, for now….
Peace,
PGE